I am filled with anticipation, anxiety, excitement, joy, sadness, doubt, worry, love and so many other emotions lately.
Things has been challenging and uplifting. There have been days when I woke up feeling hopeless but finished the day feeling hopeful. Moments when giving up is the only relief I can think of, but something in me does not let me walk away.
I have survived Human Trafficking, Seuxual assault at the workplace by an 18 year of innmate, spousal rape in a toxic, abusive reationship, drug and alcohol addiction, suicidal toughts, 4 misscaeraiges with one of them almost killing me bleeding out, total financial crisis and homelessness.
I believed that by now I should have my life “together” and have something to prove my value and existence on this planet.
I believed that a woman should be seen not heard, and even being seen must be to others’ liking.
I believed my worth comes from others’ approval and how they respond to all that I give.
I believed I’m nothing without someone or something in my life and no matter how much I give I will only be a part time gig, until you find yourself and ready to move on to better things.
I believed it had to be ALL or NOTHING, and there is no in between.
I believed that time tells how much someone truly cares and the evidence of me being wanted is in their choices of how often coming around or not.
I believed that I can only be somebody’s shadow and never be the one to truly lead.
I believed I had to prove my value by keep giving to convince people to accept me.
I believed that I was alone and no one will ever truly see me for me,and even if they do, I would be too much or not enough, I would be too loud or too insecure, I would be too intimidating or too needy.
That if I am choosing to be TRUE to the world by BEING my TRUE self, with wounds, heart and the love I have to share, scares and desires all out in the open.
With courage that only comes from my willingness to take a leap of faith and be vulnerable as I tell my story, not to have you FEEL sorry for me, I do not want your SORRY, but to inspire you to trust that tiny but powerful voice within you to share your story with the world.
I BELIEVED that I am NOTHING if I am TRUE!
Do I still have those beliefs?
Some of them are still hanging around and find their way to get my attention when I feel the most vulnerable. Most of them lost their power and been replaced with new BELIEFS, empowering ones.
Do I question WHY I had to have all those experiences?
All the time. BUT my heart knows they are part of a greater plan, and they are not in my memory for me to the VICTIM of their existance, but to BE THE VICTOR of their impact and guidance. To be the VOICE for the voiceless, the strength for those just picking themselves up and starting to BELIEVE in HOPE and LOVE again. To BE SEEN and HEARD and pave the way for those who are breaking down their own walls, as they are coming out of their own shadow world, breaking out of their cacoon to become that beautiful, resiliant, transperent, magical DRAGONFLY, bringing HOPE, CHANGE and LOVE into this world BELIEVING thay they are EVERYTHING and MORE as they are, their TRUTH!
All the wondering and unasked questions about WHY I do what I do brings me to this moment!
BECAUSE I have a story to tell that will change lives and heal hearts, and I AM NO LONGER WILLING TO BE silent to keep anyone comfortable in their darkness and insecurities they use as an excuse to judge, belittle, and separate others.
Because my purpose is to rattle your cage you have imprisoned yourself in, believing that you’re NOTHING!
Because my LOVE for the LIGHT I see in you, will not allow me to let you sleep anymore, but called to BE your guide into the depth of all that scares the life out of you, so TOGETHER we can face your darkness and bring it into LIGHT.
Because the World needs you awake and present, in your own TRUTH and PRESENCE!
Connected, guided, transparent and willing to share your STORY, not as a VICTIM of your experiences but the VICTOR of your SOUL’s Purpose.
So the question I will encourage you to start asking yourself is:
Why is this happening FOR me?
This is the way to RECOGNIZING your PURPOSE, underneath all that mess and discomfort, and to remember that EVERYTHING IS WORKING FOR YOU as is. BELIEVE.
To learn more about how you can become your own VICTOR
Join us on Sunday, November 17th, 2019 in Estero, Florida for our
1st Annual “Find Your Freedom” Seminar
Where over half a dozen speakers share their stories of Freeing themselves from limiting beliefs and stories, and how they use their experiences to live the life they love to live, while empowering others to do the same, in their own unique way.