This is a piece from my book, which is unfolding as I continue to embark each day on my 90 days “Here and Now” challenge to heal, grow and transform my inner world.
“As I embarked on the 3rd week of my own challenge, 90 Days in the Here and Now, I found myself realizing early in the week that I am faced with a new theme and I looked forward to what the upcoming days were about to reveal. I wondered if there is more healing, or maybe this time there is something else the Universe had in store for me. Well, I got a little bit of many things, including the healing part.
This week has been a such a blessing as I have been asking for the healing and the miracles to be able to move forward in a very specific area in my life. This area has been one of the most challenging ones of all, as long as I can remember and that is probably why I felt the most resistance and anger about what I was about to embark on. Relationships are one of the most important parts of our lives, and I believe I can say with confidence that it is probably the most challenging, while fulfilling area as well.
Relationships: we all have them. I’m not talking about a specific type of relationship, as we have different ones all over and they pretty much serve the same purpose: to heal and grow while in connection with one another by allowing ourselves to see the purpose of each connection, each relationship, each assignment! Yes, I called relationships assignments. I don’t mean that the person we are in relationship with, be it personal or professional, is an assignment for us to fix, control or change, but that the actual experience each relationship brings into our lives has lessons, gifts and some very powerful moments, which if we do not show up for we will never be able to receive. And as long as we continue to avoid these opportunities we will create the same thing over and over again, until the day we surrender and allow the guidance of the UNiverse to show us the way to the miracles we have asked for and been waiting for us.
Can’t remember exactly where I heard this concept, only that it was Gabrielle Bernstein who spoke or wrote about how life is a big classroom and each relationship in it is an assignment. We have a choice to either show up for these assignments and receive all the gifts and miracles there is in store for us, or we can not show up by isolating, judging, placing expectations on others and live in the victim mentality, as the other person is responsible for our well being and happiness. Because in all honesty, they are not. The only person responsible for our own happiness and well being is us. I am responsible for my own well being and you are for yours. There is nobody on this Earth that can make you feel anything, not joy, not happiness, not anger, not anything. I know it seems like an impossible thing to see and believe when we are in the mists of an experience where toxicity and dysfunction are dominant, but believe me that even in those situations we all have a choice. A choice to reach for better feeling thoughts and to reach for something more powerful than our own strength. Something that knows so much better what we need, something that knows so much better where and when we need to lean, and something so powerful that knows a lot better what we need to do, where we need to go, who we need to talk to and what we need to say…always.
I am talking about the Universe, I am talking about God, our inner guidance, that soft but confident voice that nudges us when we face uncertainty and guide us into a direction we would, most of the time, not even think about going. Why? Because most of the time the guidance we receive does not make any logical sense, and our Ego loves logic. Our Ego loves to get factual and take control, and what our Ego loves, even more, is play havoc in relationships! I know that as I write and allow the guidance to bring the words to the pages and I open myself up to be vulnerable and real with you, my Ego will, and already has, show its little ugly head. Because getting real and being authentic is not serving the Ego. It cannot strive on love, it cannot feed of-of authenticity or the light we all are. The Ego loves fear! The Ego is addicted to fear, drama and chaos because in that space it has power over our mind and can have us make decisions that can cause us more pain, more dissatisfaction, and even more heartache. The Ego loves to protect! Not us, but itself!.
Do you know that sense of safety we all looking for in life? The safety in relationships, in our career, in our everyday lives? The Ego does a great job to make us believe that its primary purpose and intention is to keep us safe, but in all honesty what is safe in fearing life? What is safe in staying small and living in the shadows of others? What is safe in never knowing what life had in store for us because we were too afraid to take a leap of faith and follow a guidance unknown, untouchable, unseeable, untasteable? Yes, I am making up words here because what I want you to understand and see, and to deeply experience for yourself here is that relying on our own strength through our senses and more, does not serve us on a long run. Relying on our own strength by trying to make logical sense of our experiences does not serve the greater good and it definitely does not serve you on your Spiritual journey and on your personal growth path.
Believe me, I have always been a logical person. I was taught to make everything happen as a young child, so this concept was absolutely foreign to me at first too. But I was just lost and I knew that the healing and growth ahead of me was not possible without support. The support that can only come from faith. Faith in something greater than my logic. Faith in the unknown. Faith in that soft voice I always heard and felt, but the love it came from was so unfamiliar to me, so I dismissed it….for way too long.
The guidance I’m talking about cannot be touched, tasted, smelled, seen or heard with the human senses. The guidance I’m talking about cannot be measured in materialistic ways and it cannot be compared to any other miracle that we as humans believe is a miracle. There is an infinite amount of magic in this world. Places and people who brings the sense of magic into our lives, mountains we only imagine to climb but admire for their power, rivers we look at with deep gratitude for bringing such a rush and elimination of doubt into our space, oceans that feels us with intimidation and excitement at the same time, and people whos light and presence just blow our socks off as we stand in their space. That is magic! The magic we are surrounded by and still, we do not see or receive most of the time, because we keep looking for love, acceptance, joy, kindness, and a sense of belonging in all the wrong places. And as long as we keep doing that we not only will miss out on the miracles available for us, but we will never see the magic that is right in front of us. Be this magic through a romantic partner, a parent, a child, a friend or even a stranger on our path. We have to surrender to the idea that there is something so much stronger and powerful out there compare to our own strength, and it always has our back.
So yes, relationships. I already knew deep down that this week will be transformational and will bring me more joy than I can ask for, but I had to make a choice to make different choices and to stay committed to my own well being no matter what the Universe has in store for me.”