As an intuitive medium and spiritually driven being I receive messages all the time. It is simple to just let things flow through me and deliver the message to others, however when it comes to time to listen to what I need to hear for myself it becomes a little bit more challenging.
Not because I don’t hear it, but because I have been allowing my Ego to take the driver seat and I keep questioning the integrity and meaning of the message.
First big mistake as a Lightworker; make things about me!
Second big mistake as a Lightworker; try to control things!
Well it took me long enough to get to this awareness, but I finally did this morning as I set on the back deck at my friend’s house, sipping my morning coffee and listening (this time really listening) to what I am being told!!!
The message I’ve been receiving is to “GIVE IT ALL AWAY” !!!!
I kept asking the wrong questions. Actually I simply made the mistake of asking questions and not listening to what I already heard.
My questions were all about me and the things I thought I had to give up in order to be able to receive abundance, especially financial abundance.
My life is full of abundance, but the constant seeking of what I thought I was lacking kept me from seeing that.
I am a healer, a coach, a guide, a friend, a lightworker, and so many more amazing things and that alone is all abundance. So my Ego self just did not want to admit that what I need to give away is within myself and has nothing to do with the outside world. My Ego self just kept looking for “things” outside of me in order to create financial abundance and still created nothing, or just blocked the true abundance to come in.
It caused the number of my clients/students to go down to a very scary low number, it caused appointments after appointments to be canceled, and it caused a major lack in my ability to create connection with people who were drawn to me (supposed to be) for the very gifts I was not giving away.
Everything I was doing in order to create abundance was and always has been counterproductive….it created exactly what I was trying to avoid, because I was looking for the solution outside of myself!
My Ego, which is fear, was feeding on my need to be in control, to be right about unhealthy beliefs, to look good and please people, and to stay small and comfortable. Those four things are the most enjoyable and powerful meals for our Ego and loves to feed on them in order to keep us small and safe.
But how exactly am I supposed to help people heal, grow and reignite their own light if I am living like that?
So while listening to the birds and the wind on the deck this morning I finally allowed myself to hear what I was supposed to. I stopped and listened. This time I listened with my heart and my soul, not with my head.
The message was clear and beautiful; Everything I receive through me from my creator; I get to give it all away. It is the love I feel. It is the light I am. It is the energy that comes through me from up above and down below that I get to give away.
Without judgment, control or doubt, which are the very tools that build the wall and block the flow of the healing energy, I get to give it all away!
From the space of love, trust, faith and serenity, I get to be present and allow the flow of things to work their magic. The only thing I can control is my actions, thoughts and responses.
The gifts I have as a healer is everything I get to give away!